What Keeping Secrets Does to Your Marriage
Everyone keeps secrets. They sit with us, like stones in our pockets. Some weigh us down. Others just exist. All are present. In fact, according to a study published last year in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychologypeople keep 13 of them on average. The most common secrets are sexual in nature, researchers found: having to do with behavior or with romantic thoughts about someone outside of the confines of your primary relationship. But all secrets, big and small, have a profound effect on you and your marriage — whether you notice it or not. Secrets in relationships are common.
It hurts to keep secrets. Secrecy is associated with lower well-being, worse fitness, and less satisfying relationships. Research has linked secrecy to increased anxiety, decline, symptoms of poor health, and constant the more rapid progression of ailment. There is a seemingly obvious account for these harms: Hiding secrets is hard work.