The Beginner’s Guide to Gentle Femdom

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Though the endeavor originally started as a simple indulgence of my naturally bossy self and plethora of kinks, I quickly realized that I could be charging men for the pleasure or pain of my services -- so I did. Six months ago, I took out several Craigslist ads and trawled through furtive adult sites in search of submissive men who needed a steady, firm hand in their lives. In my years on the scene, I've seen people cross over to the dark side for many reasons that have little to do with depraved fantasy sex. Some crave the serenity that comes with surrendering control, or simply wielding it in a safe and sane manner. Contemporary ideas of a dominatrix are largely about super-sadistic women brandishing whips.

Our product picks are editor-tested, expert-approved. We may earn a commission through acquaintance on our site. Nick Onken Address and write Want hotter sex? Ask what turns her on. This is BDSM —talk first. The benefit designed for you: Giving a partner permission en route for be emotionally vulnerable and to allocate deep desires creates a space designed for your confessions, too. For each of my clients, I make a kinky spreadsheet—it includes all the agreed-upon fantasies, turn-ons, and hard limits. And I keep it nearby during play. After that you know about safe words, right?

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