Every product was carefully curated by an Esquire editor. We may earn a commission from these links. How to Never Have the 'What Are We' Talk Because those three little words can be stressful as hell when you're trying to keep things casual. Like you're being attacked or issued an ultimatum, despite the mixed signals that have been flying around your current relationship or non-relationship. For whatever reason, we often interpret the what are we question as part of a mission to lock us down.